Lock Up Your Daughters, People

So I'm out visiting the Lounge, and Miss Oki revealed to us that she's only "barely evil"; a mere "twisted." Personally I think that might be a bit generous, but hey, I didn't design the test and hey, she could have lied.

And lying on these tests is something I know a lot about. In an attempt to ensure that EA remains the same boring display of mediocrity you've come to lament (it's not just any rediculous collection of drivle; it's THE collection of drivle), I'll often take and retake tests of this nature in an effort to find the funniest result. Or just the result that makes me more interesting than I am in real life.

Oh, don't beleive a word of it; I'm damned interesting in real life. But that's not the point here.

The point is that tonight, as I read that Keri is only slightly evil and could, in fact, change her ways if she chose to, I decided I'm in the mood to answer the quiz in as honest a way as possible. Yes, folks, I decided to give an accurate picture of EA for once.

Why? Because eventually I'm going to date again and I don't want that woman to read this blog and run screaming for the hills. Or, perhaps I'm just lazy tonight. After all, I am in Disneyworld with FlyBoy and the Puffinator and we did walk about 40,000 miles today, so cut me some slack for crissake.

So I took the test. And I figured I was going to fall somewhere in the middle, much like Miss Oki. I mean, I've always considered myself somewhat of an average person: better than some, worse than others, so why shouldn't I end up in the middle? It asked a bunch of benign questions, like my favorite movie genre and the kind of music I listen to. Add all that usual trivia to my "kinda good/kinda bad" personality and I thought I'd be somewhere in the high point of the bell curve.

But no.

How evil are you?

Look how far that freaking arrow is to the side of evil! I'm so fucked. No wonder normal, lovely women don't like me. I guess all that's left is animal sacrifice and starting a plague during the Barney and Friends Revival on Ice.

Now if you'll excuse me I have some puppies to drown and meth to sell to pre-teens. I wonder if Dyck is hiring....