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Effortlessly Average

Sort of half-heartedly leading the charge into mediocrity since, oh, let's say around 1987 or so.

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Location: Roaming (additional charges may apply), Argentina

Proof that with internet access and a powerful laxative, even insipid people will blog; the place where your excellence and my mediocrity collide; where my Karma whips ass on your dogma.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

It's all about me

So I'm sitting here in my newly spotless room and might I say that when I get this pigsty cleaned up it totally rocks as a man's room. Women beware: walking in here may very likely result in an irresistible desire to get naked. At least I can hope.

Now I'm here, wondering what to do for our visit today. And I got nothin'. Dead end. For some reason today my super highway of creativity has run smack dab into the solid wall of... something that prevents creativity. Now how's THAT for an analogy? Take that, actual wordsmiths and others capable of stringing together a coherent sentence. It's probably due to the conspicuous lack of espresso frothed together with 12 ounces of hot milk.

Yeah, I know it's after 10am, but we're not in Italy, so sue me.

So what does one do when the desire for being a witty fucker eludes? Yes folks, that's right, he does a meme. I'll grant you it's not only lazy but overdone and also a little gay, but hey, it beats me rambling on for paragraphs about how little sex I'm getting.

Doing a meme today also allows me to pirate the idea from someone else AND still feel as if I've accomplished something resembling actual work. To my credit though, I did add some questions I just felt like throwing in there. These things can be so mundane without some really juicy tidbits, don't you agree?

Rules are simple in this one. It's just a Yes or No thing. No explanations, no preamble. Just on or off; 1 or 0; black or white. To know more, you gotta comment or email.

  1. Over 21? Yes
  2. Danced in front of your mirror naked? Yes
  3. Ever told a lie? Yes
  4. Been arrested? Yes
  5. Kissed a picture? Yes
  6. Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes
  7. Held an actual snake? Yes
  8. Ever run a red light? Yes
  9. Ever drink and drive? Yes
  10. Been suspended from school? Yes
  11. Ever been fired from a job? Yes
  12. Totaled a car/motorbike in an accident? Yes
  13. Sang karaoke? Yes
  14. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
  15. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
  16. Ever gone "under the knife?" Yes
  17. Ever laughed until you wet yourself? No (damn, finally a 'no' answer!)
  18. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
  19. Kissed in the rain? Yes
  20. Sang in the shower? Yes
  21. Sat on a rooftop? Yes
  22. Been to a foreign country in which you didn't speak the language? Yes
  23. Thought about your past with regret? Yes
  24. Been pushed in the pool with your clothes on? Yes
  25. Skinny dipped? Yes
  26. Shaved your head? No
  27. Blacked out from drinking? Yes
  28. Had a gym membership? Yes
  29. Been in a band? No
  30. Fired a gun? Yes
  31. Liked someone with nobody else knowing about it? Yes
  32. Played strip poker? Yes
  33. Been to a strip joint? Yes
  34. Donated Blood? Yes
  35. Liked someone you shouldn't? Yes
  36. Have a tattoo? Yes
  37. Been to jail? Yes (and why would this one follow the tattoo question?)
  38. Have or had any piercings? Yes
  39. Made out with a complete stranger? Yes
  40. Had a one night stand? Yes
  41. Caught someone cheating on you? Yes
  42. Felt like dying? Yes
  43. Regret any of your ex's? Yes
  44. Been to a rodeo? Yes
  45. Been to a NASCAR race? No
  46. Been in Love? Yes
  47. Met a celebrity? Yes
  48. Been on TV? Yes
  49. Know how to cook? Yes
  50. Like motorcycles? Yes!
  51. Bungee jumped, skydived, based jumped, etc? Yes
  52. Slept outdoors? Yes
  53. Spent the night in a snow cave? Yes
  54. Slept with someone knowing you didn't like them? No
  55. Smoked? No
  56. Ever done drugs? No
  57. Thought you were going to drown? Yes
  58. Play an instrument? No
  59. Driven cross country? Yes
  60. Ever known someone could see you naked, but didn't cover up? Yes

And there you have it. Sixty things you never wanted to know about me. Seems there were a lot of "yes" answers in there. Maybe I'm more experienced than I thought. Or more depraved. Same same.

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