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Effortlessly Average

Sort of half-heartedly leading the charge into mediocrity since, oh, let's say around 1987 or so.

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Location: Roaming (additional charges may apply), Argentina

Proof that with internet access and a powerful laxative, even insipid people will blog; the place where your excellence and my mediocrity collide; where my Karma whips ass on your dogma.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Like Speed Dating, sans Plebeians

No time to sit and blather on and on about stuff only I care about. OK, if it involves boobies I know I'm not the only one who cares, but this isn't about boobies so those of you who only pop in to see them can, I guess, pop out again and come back later.

As I only have a few moments before the work fairy turns my way again, and I mean that literally, I'm going to be posting several things throughout the day today, just to fill in my moments of boredom and fulfil my self-proclaimed obligation to foster your returning visits.

So, rapid fire entry #1: People the world over assume we Americans are "behind" our so-called leader simply because he and his administration are the most widely listened-to talking heads in the country. Not so. Fact is, it's increasingly only the staunchly conservative Neo-Cons who would vote Republican even if Hitler and Typhoid Mary were their candidates that support this man and his policies. And now, even the wildlife is entering the protest scene. As I read the news before my useless meeting, I came across an article that made me say: you know it's bad when even the squirrels immolate.

Tue Nov 20, 6:01 AM ET
ASHLAND, Wis. - It was an unlucky day for two squirrels and hundreds of Midwestern power customers.

Brian Elwood, a spokesman for Xcel Energy, said a squirrel came in contact with an overhead transformer and knocked out service to 177 customers Monday. Power was fully restored in just under an hour, and repair crews found the remains of the "unfortunate squirrel," he said.

By coincidence, another squirrel got into a substation 40 miles away in Ironwood, Mich., Monday morning and caused a temporary outage that affected about 1,400 customers in Ironwood and two nearby communities, Elwood said.

The utility takes many preventive steps to keep the curious animals away from lines, he said, but they are one of the leading causes of outages, trailing only severe weather.

"We kind of liken it to anyone who's had a bird feeder and tried to keep the squirrels out," he said. "They find a way.

Clearly the squirrels have launched a coordinated attack! You know what this means don't you? The same people who gave you the pliable Constitution will claim that Al Qaeda has infiltrated our wildlife population and is attacking our critical infrastructure. But not to worry! Dick has already dispatched the CIA to begin torturing waterboarding any other squirrels they are able to detain as "enemy combatants." So you're safe people.

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