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Effortlessly Average

Sort of half-heartedly leading the charge into mediocrity since, oh, let's say around 1987 or so.

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Location: Roaming (additional charges may apply), Argentina

Proof that with internet access and a powerful laxative, even insipid people will blog; the place where your excellence and my mediocrity collide; where my Karma whips ass on your dogma.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I've Always Hoped This Day Would Come

We love us some CSI. My daughter and I watch that show every time it comes on TV, even if we've seen that episode six times previously. It's our new Whose Line Is It Anyway. During every episode one of us will invariably quote something we've learned by watching CSI:

  1. That guy who pumps your stomach will know you've cheated on your diet.
  2. It's shocking what comes out of a human head.
  3. CSIs conduct every phase of the investigation, from evidence collection to interrogation.
  4. Crime scenes are best searched by flashlight, even if brighter lights are available.
  5. When confronted with the evidence, suspects can't resist spilling their guts.
  6. Every violent crime in Vegas is solved.
  7. All CSIs in Vegas are young and good looking.
  8. Vegas CSIs can pull prints and DNA from air.
  9. CSIs have access to every scrap of data in the universe.
  10. For some, finding a pubic hair is a good thing.
  11. Those things in the freezer are not popsicles.

The other day we had just watched the intro and the opening sequence was playing.

Daughter: Dad?

Me: Yeah, Puffin?

Daughter: What is this song?

Me: 'Who Are You?'

Daughter [with a confused look]: Who am I?

Me: No, 'Who Are You?'

Daughter: Uh, is this a trick question? Why does that matter?

Me: What would they call it otherwise, 'untitled?'

Daughter: It's called '[her name]?'

Me [sensing an opporutnity to have a litte fun]: What is?

Daughter: The song.

Me: Oh. No, 'Who are you?' It makes perfect sense when you consider that the show is about people who try to figure out who commits a crime.

Daughter [lightbulb coming on]: Aaaahhh, I get it. The name of the song is 'who are you!'

Me: That's what I've been saying.

Daughter: And who sings it?

Me [Yes! I've always hoped one of them would ask this during the credits]: Yep.

Daughter [after a few seconds of silence]: Dad, did you hear me?

Me: Yeah.

Daughter: Well, who sings it?

Me: Yes.

Daughter [frustration beginning to show]: Yes, what?

Me: The Who sings that song.

Daughter: I don't know, that's why I'm asking you. Don't you know?

Me: Know what?

Daughter: The band that sings that song.

Me: No, The Band sings something else I can't remember right now. The Who sings that song.

Daughter: Daaaaaa-aaad, stooooop it! I just want to know who sings that song!

Me: I knoooooowwwww, and I answered you. The Who sings that song!


Me: And I already told you!

Daughter: You told me who's the band that sings that song? The name of the band?

Me: No, The Band doesn't sing "Who are you." The Who does. They also sing 'Pinball Wizard.'

Daughter [emitting some primal, guttural noise]: Fine. Whatever. Don't tell me then.

Me [calling after her]: What? I told you! I did! It's The Who.

Daughter [voice fading]: I'm not lissstennniiiing..

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