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Effortlessly Average

Sort of half-heartedly leading the charge into mediocrity since, oh, let's say around 1987 or so.

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Location: Roaming (additional charges may apply), Argentina

Proof that with internet access and a powerful laxative, even insipid people will blog; the place where your excellence and my mediocrity collide; where my Karma whips ass on your dogma.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Quick Ass Entry

I used to think I was unique in my use of "ass" in language. For me, using "ass" just makes the point so much better than would be the case if I used some other adjective, like "butt" or "freaking" or simply using nothing at all. Now I find that there is at least one more person on the planet for whom ass is ideal. Wait, I may want to rephrase that. Anyway, for years I've been using ass as the high octane boost to my vernacular, sort of like liquid Schwartz. Personally I've always found it versatile and useful, but mostly I use it descriptively, by calling someone a "dumb ass."

Speaking of ass, I've got a new bumper sticker I thought you'd like to see. As we travel around the nation, we want those who see us on the road in the big brown MoHo to get a feel for who's inside:

That's me on the left.

Some other descriptives I've been known to use:

"Pinhead." As in: "You pinhead, you can't use liquid dish soap in the dishwasher!"
"Doorknob." As in: "What kind of a doorknob would do that?"
"Dorkmeyer." As in: "Dorkmeyer."
"Jerkweed." Self explanatory
and finally,
"You pussy communist!" (also self-explanatory).

In closing, I'm sure many of you have done as I have and are collecting the state quarters as they come out, right? Well I just ran across a rare, first prototype quarter for Nevada, which, being my home state, I thought I'd share with you:

Oh hey, in case you're bored, take this survey to see how "Dixie" you are. According to my results, I'm a total Yankee and should probably not venture into the deep south without protection. Personally, I'm not sure how condoms will help, but ok, thanks for the tip. And I don't even like baseball.

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