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Effortlessly Average

Sort of half-heartedly leading the charge into mediocrity since, oh, let's say around 1987 or so.

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Location: Roaming (additional charges may apply), Argentina

Proof that with internet access and a powerful laxative, even insipid people will blog; the place where your excellence and my mediocrity collide; where my Karma whips ass on your dogma.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Questions I have

  1. If you look at a mirror with a pair of binoculars, will the image in the mirror appear closer, or only the mirror itself?
  2. Why is it acceptable for there to be any number of minority-only groups and events, but if anything is perceived as white-only, it's immediately tagged racist?
  3. Why does American society tolerate, indeed glorify, violence, but abhor anything sexual?
  4. What exactly is a "dirty sanchez?"
  5. Why are there interstate freeways in Hawaii?
  6. Who is the "they" that everyone quotes?
  7. If I eat pasta and anti-pasta at the same time, do the calories cancel each other out?
  8. Speaking of "anti-," does an anti-aircraft gun shoot anti-aircraft? After all, a glue gun shoots glue and a nail gun shoots nails.
  9. Are those people I see at disaster scenes with "K9 Rescue" on their jackets looking for trapped dogs?
  10. If sunflower oil is made from sunflowers and olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made from?
  11. If a point on the edge of a CD has to go 10 inches to make one revolution, but a point near the center only has to go 2 inches, how is it possible for two points on the same disc to travel at two different speeds?
  12. If I buy de-hydrated water, what do I add?
  13. If a man is standing in a forest talking, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  14. If I have multiple personalities and I threaten to commit suicide, is it actually attempted murder?
  15. Is the word "thesaurus" in the thesaurus?
  16. What would Geronimo yell if he jumped from a plane? "MMEEEEEEeeeeeeeee...?"
  17. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?
  18. If white is the combination of all colors and black is the absence of color, how do they make black paint?
  19. Why do we use "happy" for salutations for every other holiday, but with Christmas we say "merry?"
  20. Why are there no letters assigned to the number 1 on a telephone when 7 and 9 have four letters each?
  21. Does that make 7 and 9 the greedy Republican capitalists of the phone pad?
  22. If a stealth bomber crashes, will it make a noise?
  23. If the 7-11 down my street is open 24-hours, why does it have locks on the doors?
  24. Is there a fine if I open a milk carton on the side that doesn't read "open here?"
  25. If someone using sign language swears, do you wash his mouth or his hands?
  26. What is that force that alerts children anywhere in the house that you've just tried to use the bathroom by yourself?
  27. If someone wearing coke-bottle eye glasses were to look at the sun, would it burn their eyes like an ant under a magnifying glass?
  28. If you clamp a hand tightly over your mouth and nose when you sneeze, will it blow your shoes off or come our your ears?
  29. If an angry employee is called "disgruntled," is a happy one merely "gruntled?"
  30. What does the "H" stand for in "Jesus H. Christ?"

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