.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Effortlessly Average

Sort of half-heartedly leading the charge into mediocrity since, oh, let's say around 1987 or so.

My Photo
Location: Roaming (additional charges may apply), Argentina

Proof that with internet access and a powerful laxative, even insipid people will blog; the place where your excellence and my mediocrity collide; where my Karma whips ass on your dogma.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Minutiae: it isn't just an 80's mexican boy band

So where have I been, you may be wondering? Or not? As my literally ones of readers will attest, I sometimes vanish for periods of time, just to collect my thoughts and sort shit out. Of course I won't bore you with the insistence that I've been "busy," mostly because I really haven't been so much busy as just plain lazy. Although I guess you could say I've had a lot going on, just not the kinds of things anyone would care to know. That's what makes this blog different from the rest, see? Some blogs are filled with statements of deep thinking. Others the kind of banal commentary about crap their closest friends don't care about, let alone a near stranger. Oh, and let's not forget the great many tomes regarding the frequency and consistency of their kids' stool; as if we all want to know how often their naughty spawn lay pipe. But not this blog. No, no. This blog guarantees consistent mediocrity. Here at EA, we're not just any run of the mill insipid blog... we're THE run of the mill insipid blog.

Just to lend some validity to just how mundane the events of my recent life have been, allow me to peel back the lid and give you a whiff. Come closer, you can't smell it from way over there. No, not that close; I don't want you to pass out. Good, right there. Ok then...

I've been cleaning out my blogroll. And when I say blogroll, I mean my Google Reader roster. I know I don't keep a blogroll on my blog, but I'd like you to know that it's not personal. I just got tired of some people who shall now remain nameless going out to all the sites on my blogroll, searching for comments I'd left, with a view toward catching me being disingenuous. I mean really, it's not like they need to go someplace else to prove that. They can get that confirmation right here.

Several thoughts occurred to me as I perused the blogroll, but the common denominator was that despite spending most of my adult life observing human behavior, I have to admit that I just don't get people. I'll save the details of my reasons for said statement for another post, save one observation: I don't get ultra religious people.

I mean, so much of what they take as gospel just doesn't make sense to me. Take the book of Genesis, for example. Six days? And a 7th to rest? Doesn't that suggest God is fallible; that He tires? And isn't that a stick to the eye that He is all powerful? After all, if He's all-powerful, why couldn't He just wave His hand and "snap" everything was already there. And how did they know what a "day" was, anyway, since by it's very definition, a day wasn't possible until the Earth and Sun were created? But these people believe every single word Genesis says as if it's beyond contestation. Which I just don't get, cuz I don't think Genesis was all that great a band, or Phil Collins all that amazing a drummer. And what the hell is a Susudio, anyway?

Aside from that (and to prevent you having to spend too much time reading EA today), the only other thing I wanted to tell you today was that I had to take a day from work last week to go to court. See, all I wanted to do was spruce up my car, but I got a ticket for hanging an air freshener from my rear view mirror. Can you believe that crap? And I worked hard on that air freshener. Apparently, according to The Man, it's illegal to make an air freshener that looks like a handicapped placard.

Makes me wish I'd been pulled over in Arkansas. Over there, the cops are a lot more laid back. How so? Well, if you're in Arkansas and get pulled over for suspicion of DUI, you get to go on your way if your BAC is lower than the cop's.

Oh, and before I let you return to your regular schedule of surfing for circus animal porn and midget leg wrestling on YouTube, let me ask you something: A buddy and I were walking through the park the other day, talking about dating and women, when we happened across a dog licking his balls. My buddy chuckled and replied "wow, I wish I could do that. Then I wouldn't need a woman." And despite the seriousness of our conversation, the first thing that popped out of my mouth was "well, that's fine with me, but maybe you should pet him first."

Does that make me wierd?

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

- The Number of People Stunned by My Mediocrity